By Ronnie Frost
Our “The Four Agreements” series based on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz, was well timed for what I have been going through the past few months. I often don a Superwoman shirt, knowing that I can do anything I put my mind to with hard work and perseverance. I entered 2019 with multiple burning bowl ceremonies and a meditation retreat in an effort to be #ZenAF. With my spiritual commitments and goals in place, I was confident to theme the year “She Ready” (a phrase used by comedian Tiffany Haddish).
The first week of January, I tried to be impeccable with my word (the first agreement) and prioritize my self care goals. I was in the trenches of the most challenging project of my career, helping my wife with Spirit Uncensored, and what felt like a part-time job making calls and faxing (yes, faxing) paperwork for a close relative to secure health insurance and proper treatment after they contracted a deadly, antibiotic-resistant staph infection that required multiple hospital stays.
I took a failed project at my job personally (against the second agreement!), and shouldered the blame myself. I felt that some of the other more experienced engineers would have completed this project much faster and replayed what I could have done differently. I obsessively called the doctors of my relative, taking on things that I felt that they needed help in. All without being asked.
Amid the struggles, I was asked to interview for my dream job that required half day interview sessions and a presentation with an executive. After several rounds of interviews and great feedback, I didn’t hear back from the job for months! I just knew they ghosted me and spent weeks mourning what could have been. I replayed the entire interview process in my head repeatedly, wondering what I could have done differently. This was breaking the “Don’t Make Assumptions” agreement.
Looking back on the last three months, I realized I had worried about things unnecessarily. My relative was fine. I attracted additional help at work and at Spirit Uncensored. I was offered the position at the company that I thought ghosted me. I was able to leave my old job with everything turned over and my peers were impressed with my ability to persevere through the challenges that arose.
Ruiz noted, “when you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take harder to accomplish your goal.” I applied the wisdom from the fourth agreement, “Always Do Your Best” to recommit to focusing on my self-care. I realized that I only felt like I was doing my best when I was well-rested and calm. By prioritizing self-care, I am able to take action with integrity. By not taking things personally, I am able to free my mind to focus on positivity. Not making assumptions, I don’t spend my energy on erroneous thoughts. Join me in the Spirit Uncensored Facebook group and let me know how your year is going and how this series impacted you.